He's Been Busy With Me

While I have been absent from my blog for a few months God has been hugely at work in me. I wanted to share with you what He has done. For many years I have struggled with hidden anger from past hurts. I have tried to hide it deep inside, but it always manages to rear its ugly head somehow to some unsuspecting person, usually a family member, but sometimes even a friend. I'm going to quote to you from my journal entry from September 15th:

Today is a new day for me! I have chosen to throw my suitcase of bitterness very far away and I am choosing not to be angry one more day. The bitterness I have been holding onto has gotten so bad it has reared its ugly head in so many small but big ways. Lord, you are so wonderful. Where would I be without you? Thank you for being faithful and answering my prayers to forgive. Thank you most of all for loving me through this. I'm letting it all go today. Please continue the work you began in me, now that I have submitted to you. Thank you for my "Calm My Anxious Heart" Bible Study and the ladies in my group. You have spoken and I have changed because of it. I'm quoting from the chapter I read last night on being content in relationships:

"As I look at His (Jesus) response to betrayal (Matt. 26:38-46 while in the garden of Gethsemane when He asked His friends to pray for Him and they fell asleep), I am convicted. I must be willing to overlook imperfection as Jesus did. If I insist on perfection or nothing, I'll end up with nothing. I must be willing to forgive. And if you long to be content, so must you. Unless we do our anxious hearts will not be calmed" (p. 75).

Forgiveness is not an option! "Failure to forgive not only wounds our savior but it destroys us. A lack of forgiveness causes the bitterness plant to take root in our hearts. A Christian is a candidate for confinement and unspeakable suffering until he or she fully and completely forgives others, even when others are wrong. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. Forgiveness breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. It is not a feeling but a secret choice of the heart. " (p. 77-79)

Lord, I know I cannot do this without you. Please help me to remember you and your word whenever bitterness starts to creep in. Please help me to choose to forgive and choose to look past others' faults. I feel the most free I have felt in years. Thank you. Thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for grace. And most of all, thank you for loving me through everything.

"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe that God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it." Colossians 3:12-14 The Message

Loving Him victoriously with all my heart today,

~Mel